Comédie! Tragedie!

03.04.2011 в 22:50

Пишет  GodZone:

ST

lyricsELLE:
There! Right There!
Look at that tan, that tinted skin.
Look at the killer shape he's in.
Look at that slightly stubbly chin.
Oh Please he's gay, totally gay.

CALLAHAN:
I'm not about to celebrate.
Every trait could indicate the totally straight expatriate.
This guy's not gay, I say not gay.

ALL:
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to assume
That a man who wears perfume
Is automatically radically fey?

EMMETT:
But look at his coiffed and crispy locks.

ELLE:
Look at his silk translucent socks.

CALLAHAN:
There's the eternal paradox.
Look what we're seeing.

ELLE:
What are we seeing?

CALLAHAN:
Is he gay?

ELLE:
Of course he's gay.

CALLAHAN:
Or European?

ALL:
Ohhhhhh.
Gay or European?
It's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or European?

WARNER:
Well, hey don't look at me.

VIVIAN:
You see they bring their boys up different
In those charming foreign ports.
They play peculiar sports.

ALL:
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts.
Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks.
They will say things like "ciao bella"
while they kiss you on both cheeks.

ELLE:
Oh please.

ALL:
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.

WARNER:
Depending on the time of day,
the French go either way.

ALL:
Is he gay or European?
or

ENID:
There! Right There!
Look at that condescending smirk.
Seen it on every guy at work.
That is a metro hetero jerk.
That guy's not gay, I say no way.

ALL:
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to presume
that a hottie in that costume

ELLE:
Is automatically-radically

CALLAHAN:
Ironically chronically

VIVIAN:
Certainly pertin'tly

WARNER:
Genetically medically

ALL:
Gay!
Officially gay!
Officially gay! Gay! Gay! Gay!
DAMN IT!

Gay or European?

CALLAHAN
So stylish and relaxed.

ALL:
Is he gay or European?

CALLAHAN
I think his chest is waxed.

VIVIAN:
But they bring their boys up different there.
It's culturally diverse.
It's not a fashion curse.

ALL:
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse.
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code.

BROOKE:
Yet his accent is hypnotic
but his shoes are pointy toed.

ALL:
Huh.
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.

JUDGE:
But if he turns out straight
I'm free at eight on Saturday.

ALL:
Is he gay or European?
gay or european?
Gay or Euro-

EMMETT:
Wait a minute!
Give me a chance to crack this guy.
I have an idea I'd like to try.

CALLAHAN:
The floor is yours.

EMMETT:
So Mr. Argitacos...
This alleged affair with Ms. Windam has been going on for...?

MIKOS:
2 years.

EMMETT:
And your first name again is...?

MIKOS:
Mikos.

EMMETT:
And your boyfriend's name is...?

MIKOS:
Carlos.
I'm sorry! I misunderstand. You say boyfriend.
I thought you say best friend. Carlos is my best friend.

CARLOS:
You bastard!
You lying bastard!
That's it.
I no cover for you, no more!
Peoples.
I have a big announcement.
This man is Gay… and European!
And neither is disgrace.
You've got to stop your being
A completely closet case.
It's me not her he's seein’
No matter what he say.
I swear he never ever ever swing the other way.
You are so gay.
You big parfait!
You flaming boy band cabaret.

MIKOS:
I'm straight!

CARLOS:
You were not yesterday.
So if I may, I'm proud to say,
He's gay!

ALL:
And European!

CARLOS:
He's gay!

ALL:
And European!

CARLOS:
He's gay!

ALL:
And European and Gay!

MIKOS:
Fine okay I'm gay!

ALL:
Hooray!

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